Archive for the ‘Musing’ Category

Scumbag Brain is a Scumbag – Afterword

I’ve recently been thinking a lot about my opinions on mental illness. You can ascertain plenty about a person’s belief about life, as well as philosophy, and perhaps even religion when listening to them speak about mental illness. Unfortunately though, that is another essay entirely that I’ll have to rewrite, that was lost in the great harddrive failure of quite a while ago. Perhaps you can see what I mean in an example of the logical flow of such a conversation.

As an example: It came to mind that if somebody believes that mental illness is not able to be overcome by will, then whatever causes the mental illness is a limitation of free will. If who you are is in your mind, and some piece of your mind has the power to limit your free will, then what are we? Are we slaves to the wiring we happened to get during childbirth? A rebuttal could then simply be to say that we made choices in childhood, and many of these illnesses are caused by experiences during childhood. Thus we are the cause of our own mental illness, in essence choosing to have something block our free will, and thus our free will is not actually stopped, but exercised. If a valid argument is to say that choices and who we are is not based on our mind, but the soul, then why might something in our mind limit the soul? …etc.

This circular style of argument could take branches and ultimately go on forever, while always coming back to the statement; “Ultimately, nobody knows for sure.” I think you can learn more about a person’s belief system by asking them about their opinion on mental health, than asking the common questions about religion. This also would be a more advisable topic if you wish to discover that information, as I have seen more eyes glaze over on the topic of religion than I am able to count.

It shows how much they have truly sat down and thought about who they are and where their thoughts come from. Where their sense of self truly resides. I believe it is a pursuit that all should take. Sit down and think about how you’re thinking.

-Ramblings of a nerd

Gym responses

I was running beside a woman today, a rather extremely… husky, woman. She attempted to keep up to me, and when she failed she still managed to do a decent walking speed for over forty minutes. Since I go nearly every day I could tell the gym was a rather new experience for her, at least this one was, as I had not yet seen her there before. I was proud of the tenacity in her workout so when she turned toward me to remove herself from the treadmill I gave her a smile and a thumbs up. I will not make this mistake again. I have never seen such an angry face from a female stranger in my life.

Today I learned: Don’t give encouragement at the gym, apparently some people hate that.

Conscious Thief

My mind worries me sometimes, or perhaps, it would be more accurate to say I worry about it. I get ideas all day bubbling up from my subconscious in such volumes that I must stop all thought to accomplish many tasks. I have trouble answering questions promptly, and often correctly, if I consciously think through a problem. I go hours without an actual physical thought in the form of words or even pictures in my mind. It is more a feeling. I have a desire to know something, and more often than not, the knowledge bubbles to the surface.

The idea that we are just the thieves of the richer world beneath stealing from the entity that does the real work, in my case I believe, has some truth to it. I feel almost guilty. Is it rude to just assume it enjoys doing that work? I don’t even know how to reward it even though it is clearly better at it than me. Though I may be better at cleaning a toilet than another person, that does not mean I enjoy cleaning toilets.

Well, hopefully, it understands my thanks that the toils it goes through are not unappreciated.

These words were written through conscious calculated thought… I wore myself out and must now nap.

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I do not adhere to a schedule. I post when I have something to say. I'm a programmer who in my spare time enjoys contemplating the meaning of life, the universe and, everything. So there will be code as well as random little stories, essays and, musing about whatever interests me at the moment.